i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
