Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
