i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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