did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
