ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you would pick up someone in the library
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
