before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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