Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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