I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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