Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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