I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
