I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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