grandma shit on top of the toilet
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
