he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
