There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
