hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
