If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish you could order shots online.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize