bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
