Dual....:-)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
