I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
