You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize