I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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