I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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