i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Bring me that man meat
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize