So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize