we have pet lesbian snakes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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