We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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