Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
