the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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