Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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