I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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