hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
