Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
