miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize