the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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