I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
