There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
