everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
