guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize