You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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