I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
