Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize