do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
