Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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