Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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