separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
