i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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