Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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