I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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