Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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