i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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