think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
