we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
