Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
