she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know her cup size but not her name....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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