Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize