New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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