You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
