Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
