It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
