can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
