You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
