she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
