I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
