Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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