Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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