I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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