oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
