we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
