Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
