My friends, they love my intelligence
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
