At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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